Archive for My Kids

Working Mom’s Struggles

I read a post this morning by my friend Catnip who is also a working mom.  She talked about her struggles with reciprocating playdates.  My kids are a bit older and no longer schedule playdates.  But often I am confronted with an obstacles of being a working mom.  Here are a list of my gripes:

  1. Recreational sports start at 5:30.  I get out of work at 5:00.  I have to rush home, honk in the driveway and go directly to the practice.  Makes cooking dinner impossible three nights a week since each child meets at different times.
  2. After school activities.  I am so glad that my kids are involved in school.  But there is no bus service for after school activities.  Which means I have to beg other parents to give my kids rides, or I have to take off work early, or weather permitting I actually have my kids walk the mile home.
  3. Can I ride home on my friends bus and play?  I get asked this question over and over.  And its great, and I want them to play with friends.  But I work until 5:00, and if we don’t have practice, then I have a million things to do every night and cannot have extra kids over.  (this piggybacks on Catnips reciprocating dilemma)
  4. Birthday Party’s on School days.  WTF.  My daughter has been invited to a birthday party this afternoon at 4:00.  I know that I am not the only working mom.  And taking off from work early so that i can bring my daughter to a birthday party is NOT happening.  Sometimes I think SAHM’s can be so insensitive to the challenges of working mom’s schedules.

I am sure I will think of some more and add them to the list at a later date.  But I have to stop blogging and get my ass to work!

Ode to the Kids

So in following up to my last post, this is all about them!
My eldest son is in 7th grade and was selected to be in the advanced math program.  He is talking pre- algebra this year.  He is also taking French.  I have tired to encourage him to participate in other school activities, but he protests a bit.  He definitely does not want to be in band again.  He is doing fall soccer and seems that his main focus is his social life.   Which for me means carting him to his friends houses, to the movies, and coming soon…  his FIRST school dance.
 
My Dear Daughter and middle child wrote a speech that she had to read in front of the 5th grade, she was running for student council.  She had to collect 25 signatutes from her classmates to be eligible to run. Unfortunatly, she was only voted alternate.  But later we found out the girl who won had given candy out to kids to sway their vote.  This is TOTALLY against the rules.  So Monday, I will be that mom, and go to school and complain.  She has also decided she wants to be in Band, and we just purchased her flute and she starts lessons on Tuesday.  She is also doing fall soccer and is on the same team as her older brother, which mortifies him. 
 
My baby boy, not so much a baby anymore, is in 4th grade.  He also ran for student council.  He had to write a letter to the fourth grade teachers stating why he thought he would be a good candiate to represent his class.  Of course, the two kids who were selected were children of parents who are school volunteers and on the PTA BOARD this year.  Those kids who won could have said, “I want to be on student council so I can steal from the school store,” and they still would have been selected. Being a stay at home mom sure has its perks, unfortunatly I have to work.   He is doing fall soccer.  He has been saying for a while that he would like a new bed.  The one he has now is a loft bed, that he stores his toys under.  His complaint is its too high for Rocky our dog to be able to lay with him.  We finally found what we thought would be a good option for his room.  It also gives him a place for a friend if he has a sleep over, because its a bunk bead.  And now he wants to be in guitar club.  Which means he needs a guitar.   Gonna ask grandma for help $$ with that one.
After all they have been through, I think overall they are good, well rounded, intellegent children – despite the gene pool from which they came.  Quite often I get complimented on how respectful and well behaved they are.  But they are a lot of work, and take up a lot of my time.  Really, I work two full time jobs.  The one that makes me money, and the one that makes me rich. 

You and Me Against the World

I am just now starting to lurk around and read other peoples posts, and I find that lots of people write about their kids.  I have looked over my past posts and realize that I really don’t write about my kids.  I may mention them, but none of my posts are really about them.  And I started to wonder why, and realize that every moment of my life is about them, from the time I wake up in the morning, until the time I go to bed.  And this is the only place that is all mine.  And I need this avenue, to get my thoughts out there.  Sort of my own free therapy, like going to the gym.

My kids are my everything.  I did the single mom thing for quite some time after my divorce, before the fiancee came into the picture.  So I really feel like we have a unique bond, like we conquered something together.  And when I say it was just me and them, we were really alone.  Every member of our family lives in Louisiana, and we live in New England.  Geographically, I not sure they could be any further away and still be CONUS.  We only had each other, and we all worked together to make it work.  And in reading this, it sounds like my kids are older children.  But at the time of my divorce, my kids were 4, 5 and 7.  The were still babies for godsake!  But they were great, they understood when we didn’t have the money to do extra things.  And were content with the time I was able to give them, rather than the things I couldn’t buy them.

My mom and dad divorced when I was 3.  She did the single mom thing for 5 years before my step-dad came into the picture.  I remember her playing over and over on the record player You and Me Against the World by Helen Reddy (give it a listen, its worth following the link).  It was her song to me and my sister.  Today, it has a whole new meaning.  I now understand why her eyes welled up with tears when it played.  And now the meaning it holds for me, for my children.

Vanishing Weekends?

Do you ever ask yourself on Monday Mornings “Where did the weekend go?”

I know I was busy the whole time, but yet somehow I feel I got nothing accomplished and my to-do list has doubled in size.  One thing my mother taught me was to make to-do lists.  She had them posted all over the house, and still does.  I started leaving them for my kids, for when they come home from school.  One of her tricks was at the end of the day, if she completed something that was not on her list, she would still write it and then cross it off.  It made her feel like she had accomplished things even if her list did not get shorter. 

I find myseld easily distracted from my lists, mostly because I have so many balls in the air that I juggle on a daily basis.  I have a few lists going at on right now; a daily list, short term goals and long term goals.  I every much enjoy reading some of other people’s to-do lists.  Below is a funny, that I thought I would share, it has a remarkable resemblance to the chain of events of my weekend ~ enjoy!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
 
This is how it manifests:
 
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
 
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
 
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
 
So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
 
But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
 
I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
 
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.
 
I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
 
The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye–they need water.
 
I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.
 
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.
 
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
 
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.
 
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
 
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
 
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I’m really tired.
 
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail….
 
 
Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

Labor Day

I think this is the first year in quite some time that I didn’t “labor” on Labor Day.  In past years the day has been filled with yard work, house work, and back to school preparations.  Sort of a catch up day for my many responsibilities.  This year was different.  We went to the beach. Yes, your read right, the beach.  For anyone who knows me, they are shocked at this moment because I hate loath sand. I am also not such a big fan of the ocean.  But my children love to go, and that’s whats important.  I also asked my best NH girlfriend and her son to join us.

 

The beach I take them to is actually a state park.  The grounds are very well kept and its very family oriented.    Our day started a bit later than I had hoped, I had a few distractions that kept me from my target time.  When we arrived it was about 10:30, we to a walk around the rocky cliff and climbed to the highest point.  It was a beautiful day and the views of the ocean were incredible.  After the rock climb, we picked a shaded, park side picnic table to set up lunch while the kiddies played for a bit. 

 

After lunch, there was no more avoiding it, it was beach time and I had to face the sand.  As beaches go, this has to be nearly perfect.  Its a small cove with a tree line, so there is actually SHADE.  The water was a bit chilly, and the kiddies played in the water and sand until the two youngest lips were blue and had the shivers.  Our adventure was not nearly done, and it was very easy to entice the kids away from the beach with an ice cream. 

 

We drove along the coast and found a group of guys unloading their lobster traps and weighing their catch of the day.  We each bough lobsters to bring home for dinner, cant get any more fresh than that!  We continued along the coast and parked near the light house so that we could walk out on the sea jetty. 

 

By the time we got home, I was beyond exhausted.  I realise, that trip was just as much labor, as what I left behind at home…  but so worth it.

 

Busy, Busy

Why does everything happen all at once.  Well, actually I am Guilty of letting everything pile up so that I have to get too much done in too little time.  Last night DD worked a back sale with student council at the school talent show.  Of course that meant I had to bake something, so yesterday morning I made cupcakes, and as soon as I walked through the door after work I had to frost them.  DS2 has a baseball clinic tomorrow, and of course he needs new cleats and pants, so after I dropped DD off at her bake sale, DS 1 & 2 and I went shopping for shoes and pants…  Let me tell you that shopping with boys is not fun.  DS2 put his shoes down somewhere in the store and lost them.  I didnt find out until we were at the register, and of course since we tried on 4 pairs, I could not remember what size we had picked, so we had to start all over.  I had no time for this, I had to be back at the school to pick up DD, and I was late.  Luckily, the talent show ran over and my tardiness went unnoticed. 

The Fiancee worked last night.  Which was good and bad.  Bad in the fact that I cannot sleep when he is not home, but good in that I got a lot of things done around my house.  I didn’t end up going to bed until 1:30, and thankfully he got home at about 3:30, so I got a few hours of sound sleep before I had to start my day. 

Tonight is poker.  I love poker, and this is such a great group to play with.  But, again with the no time.  Because I was shopping and cleaning yesterday, I did not make my “snack to share” ahead of time like I had planned.  So rush, rush when I get home.  Feed the kids, make my snack, and get them settled for the evening. 

I still have to go to the grocery, and I still have to finish making my house “company ready”.